I had not planned to write this column. Petite Bridesmaid DressesFrankly, too much going on in my life at the moment. Penning 500 words of worthwhile reading seemed too big a task, especially since the subject begged to be about Mother’s Day.
I’m not a big fan of the occasion. Holidays that force professions of love, admiration and appreciation feel false to me. Sentiments such as these should be left to flow freely. Whatever the day, whenever the time.Taffeta Bridesmaid Dresses
That being said, I find myself writing about Mother’s Day anyway. Go figure.
My two children are not with me — one is in North Carolina, working.Scoop Bridesmaid Dresses The other is at college in Tennessee, taking final exams.
My own mother is not with me either. She died this past August.Short Bridesmaid Dresses I wish I could tell you where she is. In heaven? I hope so, but can’t be sure. In hell? The God I pray to would not have created such a place, and the mother I had would not have been a candidate anyway.Tea-length Bridesmaid Dresses
So where is she on this Mother’s Day?
Her ashes are in a small box ensconced in a marble wall in a shaded garden at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Columbia.V-neck Bridesmaid Dresses
Her spirit, though, is in my heart.Knee-length Bridesmaid Dresses
It is an imperfect, mercurial spirit. Some days it is a peaceful companion I can depend upon for good advice. Other days, it bangs around inside my soul, displeased by death, wanting to live in this world just a little longer.Long Bridesmaid Dresses
A friend and contemporary of my mother’s, Sarah, recently wrote a note to my sister, Lee. Sarah lives at Still Hopes Episcopal Retirement Community in Columbia, where my mother also lived. Sarah lamented that the somewhat infamous “Algonquin Table” was no longer.Square Bridesmaid Dresses
The big table was located in the back corner of a casual dining room at Still Hopes. Mermaid Bridesmaid DressesMy mother, Ann, and her closest friends gathered there every day at lunchtime. They ate their “big meal” and they discussed politics, religion and world events.A-Line Bridesmaid Dresses
Mind you, these elders were not of the same vein. Some were steadfast conservatives. Some were cantankerous liberals. But all were vibrant, well-informed individuals whose advancing age had not diminished their interest in the world at large.One Shoulder Bridesmaid Dresses
So the news in the letter from Sarah to my sister was sad:Sweetheart Bridesmaid Dresses “I miss Ann … lots every day. The (Algonquin) table your mother had in the corner of the bistro has been abandoned.Bateau Bridesmaid Dresses Jim has gone to a smaller apartment and eats all his meals in the (formal) dining room while the rest of us are scattered. Empire Bridesmaid DressesNo fun without your attractive and precious mother.”Ball Gowns Bridesmaid Dresses
The last time I saw my mother, she was in a hospital bed, dying. Her eyes were closed. Her breathing was labored. I held her hand in mine. It felt small and fragile. I asked her if she was ready to die.Strapless Bridesmaid Dresses
“I’m not sure,” she murmured.
I told her she had been a good mother to me.Halter Bridesmaid Dresses
Her eyes opened ever so slightly.
“I tried,” she said.Spaghetti Strap Bridesmaid Dresses
So, on this imperfect Mother’s Day, minus my own children and my mother, I honor the leader of the Algonquin Table, the precocious spirit in my soul, and the one who was not sure she was ready to go but went anyway.Chiffon Bridesmaid Dresses
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